Zed Frehley
2015-09-25 00:35:46 UTC
And now, a side note with b00b. You could call it...a side b00b
I started writing this back in June 2010. The following is the result of
about 2 days of work in those 5 years.
This was meant to be an ambitious project, but...then I bregged. Enjoy, and
as always...
LASTE
*Cue cheesy nostalgic highlight reel of Alt.Skate-board...MMkay17432 posting
in “LIMP DICKSHIT”, iTypicalMale winning the ASBCW~! Title, Skate Kid and
b00b AIM convos from 2004, and Misled Youth going “Woo Woo Woo” like the
black guy from The Real World*
Ahbed – “ALT.SKATE-BOARD. The name strikes apathy into the hearts of many.
Once a bustling hub of posers and JNCO-wearing teenagers, this group is but
a shell of its former self being the home of just 2 posters currently. But
tonight, we get to catch up on the posters who made this group great. Not
Neidhart though. My name is AH-BED. As in, “AH, a bed”. I bet you’re saying
my name right now, using this show as a narcotic to try to sleep. Well, if
that is so…fuck u bletcheris. No, I’m not Aamar, the other Muslim guy from
VH1 Bands Reunited. Get it right or pay the price. I’m Ahbed from
“Community”. I was picked because I’m a skinny little bitch, just like most
skaters – so, we bond in that respect. On the other hand, I’m probably a
Muslim; so, many skaters wants to bash my skull in with their banana boards.
So, I bring both happy energy and angry energy to the mix – the perfect
environment for asb regs to be in when reuniting. Don’t you agree? Well it’s
time to sit back and get away from your social networking site, you addict
slut, and read the musings of someone who doesn’t give a shit about your
virtual flair. Oh wait, that was the thing on Facebook five years ago when
this was originally wrote. Nevermind then, b00b is lazy as hell.”
Scene 1 – A Randumb Awakening
(outside iTypicalMale’s apartment, 2 am in the morning)
Ahbed – “b00b told me to wake this slatch up “Random Randumb” style by
sticking a joystick in his bum like Corninmypoop. I told him I didn't know
what “Random Randumb” was, and definitely didn't know what Corninymypoop
was. He told me the former was a stupid ass prank show in the style of
Jackass that pinky was in, and that the latter was a sockpuppet pinky
created to fool b00b back in 2000. So after that, I told him he needs to
grow his ass up, and subsequently, I decided on more subtle approach.”
(Ahbed is inside iTypicalMale’s room, holding up an air horn. He has a
remote control in the other hand, turning up the volume on the tv opposite
iTypicalMale’s bed. It reaches MAX just when Sean Hannity comes on.)
Sean Hannity – “Ooba Jooba health care reform and the Coming of Zion umma
gubbah SCANDALOUS African tribal ceremonies on the White House Lawn.”
(Billiam spooges nocturnally.)
Billiam – “Ugh….”
Ahbed – “Na na na na! WAKE UP, SLATCH. You’ve been chosen for ASB’s new
reality show ASB REUNITED~!”
Billiam – “No, this is not my destiny! I MUST join Skull and Bones and
infiltrate the guvment. THERE IS NO TIME FOR THESE SKYLARKINGS. Hey, can you
turn on some Operation Ivy? I always get ready for for my corporate desk job
listening to it.”
Ahbed – “You’re a walking contradiction, damn beh~! Now let’s go, we’re
late!”
(Ahbed tries to drag Billiam out the door, but he lacks the muscle mass)
Ahbed – “There will be women.”
Billiam – “Speaking of loveholes…getting any lately?”
Ahbed – “Oh yes, and there promises to be lots of p00tnanny….but we must go
into the night, and reveal ourselves.”
Billiam – “Public exposure?”
Ahbed – “No, I feel that would cause an even greater rift between you and
Jap.”
Billiam – “Jap…ohhh nooo…”
Scene 2 – Aqualung
(Ahbed walks down the streets of Philadelphia, afraid. He looks at random
passerbys with beady eyes, ready to sidestep them at any moment. He does to
one homeless black man…the homeless black man attempts to rape him. Cut to
static, and then a return, showing Ahbed outside a townhouse.)
Ahbed – “Ok, so we’ve got the mac-shill extraordinare on board, and he seems
into it thus far. However, here comes the hard part, because right behind
me, is the dwellings of Philly’s Golden Child. He’s been celebrated here as
the spirit of the city, the synthesizer of PEOPLE as well as using a
synthesizer. Let’s see if we can get real quick and have a quick woid.”
(Ahbed walks over to the entrance of the townhouse, and then takes a right
over to the trash dumping area. He then walks over a cardboard paper box
with a stick propping it up. He kicks the stick, causing it to fall ON TOP
OF SOMEONE WHO IS INSIDE.)
iHentai – “OH MY GOD THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. I CANNOT SEE THE RESULTS OF MY
LATEST MASTERPIECES! WHEN WILL I KNOW WHETHER THE MONSTER DONG IS 12 INCHES
OR 64?”
Ahbed – “Fuckin’ homeless epidemic.”
(Ahbed picks up the box and throws it over his shoulder. He grabs iHentai’s
hand, which is holding the drawing of an alien with a 64-inch “something”
raping a weeaboo whore, and makes iHentai punch himself in the face,
knocking him out cold.)
Scene 3 – In the year 2000...
On a random street corner, Ahbed talks to himself.
Ahbed – “Needless to say, I knew this wasn't going to be an easy job. But it
was time to approach one Heath, and see if he would be into the prospect of
reuniting one last time with his fellow ASB regs.”
(Ahbed sneaks into the bedroom of what looks like a teenage kid. He's typing
away furiously at his keyboard wearing airwalks and sporting a bowl-cut.)
Ahbed - “Surprise, motherfucker!”
(Ahbed tries to spear Heath into a corner but Heath sidesteps. Ahbed runs
into a cd tower of NOFX cds.)
Heath - “Eat it, big boy! I ain't going back. T-rokk sent you, I just know
it. But let me tell ya, being stuck in the year 2000 has been awesome. I
just can't confront the fuchah. I can't confront the iOS 9 update. 110 gb of
storage needed, bitch.”
Ahbed - “Don't cry, Heathis. Misled Youth will teach you about the year
2015, I hear he's become a successful youth.”
1 Day Later, in the studio (which studio? IDGAF)
Ahbed - “So the band is almost back together, but we need one more to call
it a real reunion. So we went to the source of all things ASB to call this a
dunn deal.”
Scene 4 – Frequently Asked Questions
(Ahbed walks in on a guy taking a DURMP. He's on a Asus T100 Transformer
laptop, sweating and straining.)
Antti S. Braxx - “Damn It, leave me alone, i'm not into watersports!”
(Ahbed almost walks out in courtesy but circles back around and runs back
in, jump kicking Antti S. Braxx off the turlet.)
Ahbed - “Get him in the truck, boy.”
Boy Boy Omwiwhez - “I need to post to facebook about kicking someone in the
leg first.”
In a dark room, all 4 ASB Regs have been assembled.
What will happen once they awake? Will they perform “I Ran” by Flock of
Seagulls, or debate the tragic circumstances behind the death of Chad Muska?
To be continued in...ASB Bands Reunited, part TU. Coming soon, or perhaps
nevah~!
?? ? ? ÷ ¤ )MMkay17432( ¤ ÷?? ? ?
--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ***@netfront.net ---
I started writing this back in June 2010. The following is the result of
about 2 days of work in those 5 years.
This was meant to be an ambitious project, but...then I bregged. Enjoy, and
as always...
LASTE
*Cue cheesy nostalgic highlight reel of Alt.Skate-board...MMkay17432 posting
in “LIMP DICKSHIT”, iTypicalMale winning the ASBCW~! Title, Skate Kid and
b00b AIM convos from 2004, and Misled Youth going “Woo Woo Woo” like the
black guy from The Real World*
Ahbed – “ALT.SKATE-BOARD. The name strikes apathy into the hearts of many.
Once a bustling hub of posers and JNCO-wearing teenagers, this group is but
a shell of its former self being the home of just 2 posters currently. But
tonight, we get to catch up on the posters who made this group great. Not
Neidhart though. My name is AH-BED. As in, “AH, a bed”. I bet you’re saying
my name right now, using this show as a narcotic to try to sleep. Well, if
that is so…fuck u bletcheris. No, I’m not Aamar, the other Muslim guy from
VH1 Bands Reunited. Get it right or pay the price. I’m Ahbed from
“Community”. I was picked because I’m a skinny little bitch, just like most
skaters – so, we bond in that respect. On the other hand, I’m probably a
Muslim; so, many skaters wants to bash my skull in with their banana boards.
So, I bring both happy energy and angry energy to the mix – the perfect
environment for asb regs to be in when reuniting. Don’t you agree? Well it’s
time to sit back and get away from your social networking site, you addict
slut, and read the musings of someone who doesn’t give a shit about your
virtual flair. Oh wait, that was the thing on Facebook five years ago when
this was originally wrote. Nevermind then, b00b is lazy as hell.”
Scene 1 – A Randumb Awakening
(outside iTypicalMale’s apartment, 2 am in the morning)
Ahbed – “b00b told me to wake this slatch up “Random Randumb” style by
sticking a joystick in his bum like Corninmypoop. I told him I didn't know
what “Random Randumb” was, and definitely didn't know what Corninymypoop
was. He told me the former was a stupid ass prank show in the style of
Jackass that pinky was in, and that the latter was a sockpuppet pinky
created to fool b00b back in 2000. So after that, I told him he needs to
grow his ass up, and subsequently, I decided on more subtle approach.”
(Ahbed is inside iTypicalMale’s room, holding up an air horn. He has a
remote control in the other hand, turning up the volume on the tv opposite
iTypicalMale’s bed. It reaches MAX just when Sean Hannity comes on.)
Sean Hannity – “Ooba Jooba health care reform and the Coming of Zion umma
gubbah SCANDALOUS African tribal ceremonies on the White House Lawn.”
(Billiam spooges nocturnally.)
Billiam – “Ugh….”
Ahbed – “Na na na na! WAKE UP, SLATCH. You’ve been chosen for ASB’s new
reality show ASB REUNITED~!”
Billiam – “No, this is not my destiny! I MUST join Skull and Bones and
infiltrate the guvment. THERE IS NO TIME FOR THESE SKYLARKINGS. Hey, can you
turn on some Operation Ivy? I always get ready for for my corporate desk job
listening to it.”
Ahbed – “You’re a walking contradiction, damn beh~! Now let’s go, we’re
late!”
(Ahbed tries to drag Billiam out the door, but he lacks the muscle mass)
Ahbed – “There will be women.”
Billiam – “Speaking of loveholes…getting any lately?”
Ahbed – “Oh yes, and there promises to be lots of p00tnanny….but we must go
into the night, and reveal ourselves.”
Billiam – “Public exposure?”
Ahbed – “No, I feel that would cause an even greater rift between you and
Jap.”
Billiam – “Jap…ohhh nooo…”
Scene 2 – Aqualung
(Ahbed walks down the streets of Philadelphia, afraid. He looks at random
passerbys with beady eyes, ready to sidestep them at any moment. He does to
one homeless black man…the homeless black man attempts to rape him. Cut to
static, and then a return, showing Ahbed outside a townhouse.)
Ahbed – “Ok, so we’ve got the mac-shill extraordinare on board, and he seems
into it thus far. However, here comes the hard part, because right behind
me, is the dwellings of Philly’s Golden Child. He’s been celebrated here as
the spirit of the city, the synthesizer of PEOPLE as well as using a
synthesizer. Let’s see if we can get real quick and have a quick woid.”
(Ahbed walks over to the entrance of the townhouse, and then takes a right
over to the trash dumping area. He then walks over a cardboard paper box
with a stick propping it up. He kicks the stick, causing it to fall ON TOP
OF SOMEONE WHO IS INSIDE.)
iHentai – “OH MY GOD THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. I CANNOT SEE THE RESULTS OF MY
LATEST MASTERPIECES! WHEN WILL I KNOW WHETHER THE MONSTER DONG IS 12 INCHES
OR 64?”
Ahbed – “Fuckin’ homeless epidemic.”
(Ahbed picks up the box and throws it over his shoulder. He grabs iHentai’s
hand, which is holding the drawing of an alien with a 64-inch “something”
raping a weeaboo whore, and makes iHentai punch himself in the face,
knocking him out cold.)
Scene 3 – In the year 2000...
On a random street corner, Ahbed talks to himself.
Ahbed – “Needless to say, I knew this wasn't going to be an easy job. But it
was time to approach one Heath, and see if he would be into the prospect of
reuniting one last time with his fellow ASB regs.”
(Ahbed sneaks into the bedroom of what looks like a teenage kid. He's typing
away furiously at his keyboard wearing airwalks and sporting a bowl-cut.)
Ahbed - “Surprise, motherfucker!”
(Ahbed tries to spear Heath into a corner but Heath sidesteps. Ahbed runs
into a cd tower of NOFX cds.)
Heath - “Eat it, big boy! I ain't going back. T-rokk sent you, I just know
it. But let me tell ya, being stuck in the year 2000 has been awesome. I
just can't confront the fuchah. I can't confront the iOS 9 update. 110 gb of
storage needed, bitch.”
Ahbed - “Don't cry, Heathis. Misled Youth will teach you about the year
2015, I hear he's become a successful youth.”
1 Day Later, in the studio (which studio? IDGAF)
Ahbed - “So the band is almost back together, but we need one more to call
it a real reunion. So we went to the source of all things ASB to call this a
dunn deal.”
Scene 4 – Frequently Asked Questions
(Ahbed walks in on a guy taking a DURMP. He's on a Asus T100 Transformer
laptop, sweating and straining.)
Antti S. Braxx - “Damn It, leave me alone, i'm not into watersports!”
(Ahbed almost walks out in courtesy but circles back around and runs back
in, jump kicking Antti S. Braxx off the turlet.)
Ahbed - “Get him in the truck, boy.”
Boy Boy Omwiwhez - “I need to post to facebook about kicking someone in the
leg first.”
In a dark room, all 4 ASB Regs have been assembled.
What will happen once they awake? Will they perform “I Ran” by Flock of
Seagulls, or debate the tragic circumstances behind the death of Chad Muska?
To be continued in...ASB Bands Reunited, part TU. Coming soon, or perhaps
nevah~!
?? ? ? ÷ ¤ )MMkay17432( ¤ ÷?? ? ?
--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ***@netfront.net ---